Archive for the ‘Self help’ Category

Photo by Markus Spiske on Unsplash

As we move closer to the end of the year, I’ve been thinking a lot about letting go, emptying out, and making space for new stuff to grow.

Phrase Number 1

Last night, one of my besties sent me an email. She had pulled a card for me and wanted to send me the reading. The card itself centered around the idea of leadership, and the write-up contained one particular phrase the got my back up – “Don’t play small.” I’ve heard that phrase so many times, and it’s even been directed at me, but, really, what the hell does it even mean?

I know how it often gets interpreted. It is often used to tell people that they aren’t doing enough, they aren’t reaching enough people, they aren’t using their gifts enough, etc. The core of it is often “not enough”.

But what about this: What if we are exactly enough in this moment? What if we are the exact size we need to be? What if we are reaching the perfect number of people or expressing our gifts perfectly?

What would happen to ourselves and our lives if we could simply accept where we are in our current evolution? Do we berate seeds for being too small? We know the acorn holds all of the potential for the massive oak tree. We know that if we force things to sprout too quickly without providing for all of the necessities in the environment, that the seedling will be spindly and weak and is not likely to survive, never mind thrive. What if we are the seed simply waiting for the right combination of things to occur before we begin to transform and change shape? Can we not be okay with that? Because it’s not really in our control anyway, right? Because it’s not we who cause the seed to sprout. So maybe that applies to us as well. Maybe we can leave it to the larger forces that be and simply enjoy and appreciate who we are and what we have now?

Phrase Number 2

Which leads me to the next phrase that irks me – “They’re so broken.” I actually have to work hard to calm myself when I hear this phrase because it gets me so worked up. “They’re so broken” is usually used to describe someone who is having an extremely difficult time. I get it. But “broken”? Really? That word is so final, so fatalistic, so end-of-the-road. To my ears it sounds like, “They’ll never get out from under it. tsk tsk” But is it true?

What if the human spirit and the human capacity to heal is so much more powerful than we can imagine? What if it’s one of the most powerful forces in the Universe? Try that one on for size. What if the only time we can’t get out from under it is when we exhale for the last time?

Have faith in people. No matter how battered and bruised they may seem, so long as they’re breathing, there is possibility for change. Some people just take longer than others and may need extra support. I want to say, “Dear God, please stop looking at people as permanent victims. Stop taking the possibility for change away from people. If we take away hope, what is left?”

The Ritual

If I could, I would ban these 2 phrases from ever being used again. I know that I can’t control what others do, but I can keep a lookout for these phrases as they creep up to my lips, because they do. One thing I might do to reinforce ending the use of phrases I find debilitating or hurtful is write them down on paper and ritualistically burn them. Just burn them to cinders and watch them transform into something else altogether.

Words to ashes = space for something new

This is an easy and simple ritual to do for anything we humbly wish to transform and/or release – mindsets, relationship patterns, obstructive emotions, memories, habits, use of language, etc.

How About You?

If you could release anything right now, what would it be? Can you write it down and then burn it, setting it and yourself free? Are you willing to try?

Here’s to healthy clearing and lots of empty space for the new stuff to grow.

Lots of love and best wishes for you and your loved ones in the new year and always.


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I Worried

by Mary Oliver

I worried a lot. Will the garden grow, will the rivers
flow in the right direction, will the earth turn
as it was taught, and if not how shall
I correct it?

Was I right, was I wrong, will I be forgiven,
can I do better?

Will I ever be able to sing, even the sparrows
can do it and I am, well,

Is my eyesight fading or am I just imagining it,
am I going to get rheumatism,
lockjaw, dementia?

Finally I saw that worrying had come to nothing.
And gave it up. And took my old body
and went out into the morning,
and sang.

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Photo by K Vernon

Feet are a big deal. They help us stand, walk, climb and dance. They keep us steady and balanced. They help us reach for something beyond our grasp. They are the solid foundations for so many Yoga postures. Heck, they even help us pick socks up off the floor! But how often do we really pay them any mind? Unless they’re giving us grief, do we consider looking after them as diligently as we do, say, our backs or our hair styles?

When was the last time you actively stretched your toes? I mean stretched them in order to maintain their suppleness and ability to spread wide? I have the great honour of working with people who have matured in years. It means I get to see firsthand what happens when we ignore our feet and our toes over long periods of time.

~ bunions ~ hammer toes ~ plantar faciitis ~ pronation ~flat feet ~ decreased balance ~ diminished circulation ~ toe adhesions ~ PAIN

The list goes on.

There is so much we can do to take care of our feet – pedicures; chiropodists; foot massage.

Have you considered toe spacers to keep the muscles, tendons and ligaments of the feet supple and flexible?

Photo by K Vernon

Toe spacers come in various shapes, sizes and compositions. The ones above happen to be made of silicone. They’re my personal favourites because they’re easy to keep clean. These were purchased at a life-assisting devices store; ie, the place where they sell walkers, ice packs, canes…..and toe spacers. They may also be purchased at pharmacies or online. According to my student, however, they don’t seem to be easy to find at this time of writing. If that is the case, foam pedicure spacers can work, or anything that fits easily between your toes – like your fingers. No kidding. If your toes have very little space between them, start with the smallest knuckle. You can progress down your fingers as your flexibility improves. Thread your fingers between your toes and voila! Instant space. You can keep whatever spacer you’re using in place for as long as is comfortable, but please stop if there’s any pain. As a frame of reference, I keep mine in for about 10 minutes. Ideally, work with them every day, or as often as you can.

Over time you may notice an increase in flexilibility and toe mobility, improved balance due to a broader foot base, decreased pain, and the prevention of further bunion development. Plus, it feels pretty nice. 🙂

Consider looking after your foundation, your feet and toes, so it can look after you for many years to come.

Yours in space(rs),


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