The new years’ wishes are starting to flow in. Most of them hold a tone akin to, “Fuck you, 2020. Don’t let the door hit you in the ass on the way out.” I get it, it’s been a harsh year, but I have a hard time giving it the finger. Here’s why:
We seem to have some sort of mistaken idea that teachers come primarily in human form, and that they are wizened and wise, soft and kind. Anyone who has any relationship to the Dark Goddesses and Gods knows that this is only a small portion of the overall picture. We know that teachers also arrive who are wretched in personality and form. They are traumatizing, brutalizing, terrifying, and they burn the place down. They are people like Number 45 down South, or any of the madmen and women who are in positions of power around the globe. They are members of the police force who blow people away for the colour of their skin. They are forest fires, cyclones, tornadoes, and a virus, invisible to the naked eye, that has forced the entire planet to its knees.
Welcome Teacher. I bow to you.
And why? Because sometimes we humans need a good, stiff kick in the ass. We are creatures of comfort. We love our snuggly zone where we can hunker down and pretty much go to sleep right down to our bones. We will hold our comfort around us like a warm blanket, even if that “blanket” is our own trauma, because it’s familiar. Because we like familiar. Because unfamiliar is too scary. But the longer we hunker down and stay blind and silent, the more out of balance things become. And the more out of balance things become, the more likely we are to encounter The Big Guns, the darker side of the Universe, the ones that smack us in the face to WAKE…US…UP.
I’ll bet you’ve been pretty awake during 2020, awake, aware and uncomfortable. I know I have. There hasn’t been much chance to fall back asleep. 2020 has been relentless. It has been raw, bleeding from the eyes raw. It has been loud and gory and obnoxious. It has had most of us sitting, jaws hanging open, starting at screens and asking, “What the fuck is going on?”
Our Shadow, people. Our Shadow is what the fuck is going on. Ugly, innit? Our rape of the land. Our overconsumption. Our disgusting selfishness, as individuals and as nations. Our disregard for the health and well-being of others. Our inability to handle ourselves, or quiet time, or stillness. Our addiction to shopping at all costs, and busyness, and distraction. Oy!
But here’s another truth – darkness does not exist on its own. Where there is Shadow, there is Light. Such is the way of the Universe.
In the midst of all of this chaos, we’ve caught glimpses (or bold images) of beauty. We’ve witnessed the bones-deep commitment of so many people on the front lines who are working to keep us safe and help us heal. We’ve seen an entire nation say “NO!” to an insane megalomaniac who sees nothing but his own desire. We’ve watched neighbours helping vulnerable neighbours who can’t get out to get food and supplies. Artists and creative events have become more accessible as they move online. Performances have been offered for free so people could feel like they were helping somehow by lifting spirits. Families have had a chance to do more together. People are cooking, painting, walking, dancing, writing. We now know the value of a hug, a smile, a touch, a maskless face, a human life. We understand the privilege of being able to roam freely throughout this world.
For myself, the preciousness of my loved ones has been even more deeply impressed upon me; I want no harm to come to them. I’ve come to know just how much I love my students, and how much I miss them when they’re not around. I can better feel how much I love my work. I have been forced out of my comfort zone and into the wild unknown of the online teaching world. But in so being forced, I have been able to connect more often with loved ones I would normally see maybe once a year. Students who have moved away can come back to the community to learn again. All of this has helped me to feel bolder, more confident. Maybe I can take some of those hidden ideas and bring them forward? And I’ve been able to be still the way I need to be still, with no pressure to go anywhere, do anything, or see anyone. As a child of the winter who often finds her Magic during the dark months, this has been a blessed relief.
So, how about you? What has come forward for you? What has become illuminated? What has necessarily died?
Don’t get me wrong, I don’t wish for a constant diet of Harsh Teachings. We can’t thrive in a state of perpetual destruction. But we need to remember that some seeds are sowed only during forest fires, that beautiful things grow out of piles of rot. This is not the end of the story.
My prayer for 2021 is that we continue to wake up, to grow, to evolve, but that we have the chance to do that in a softer way. I pray for ease. I pray for a chance to breathe and to integrate. And I pray for healing. May we all heal in deep and lasting ways, as individuals and as nations.
2020, my Harsh Teacher, I bow to you for all you have revealed. 2021, the Teacher yet to come, may you have mercy on us. May it be so.
All my love and so many blessings to you all.
Tabitha
Tabitha Kot 
2 Phrases I’d Like to Abolish
Posted in Commentary, Healing, inspiration, Self help, tagged creating new thought patterns, creating ritual, Markus Spiske, New Year's resolutions, new years, ritual on December 30, 2022| 2 Comments »
As we move closer to the end of the year, I’ve been thinking a lot about letting go, emptying out, and making space for new stuff to grow.
Phrase Number 1
Last night, one of my besties sent me an email. She had pulled a card for me and wanted to send me the reading. The card itself centered around the idea of leadership, and the write-up contained one particular phrase the got my back up – “Don’t play small.” I’ve heard that phrase so many times, and it’s even been directed at me, but, really, what the hell does it even mean?
I know how it often gets interpreted. It is often used to tell people that they aren’t doing enough, they aren’t reaching enough people, they aren’t using their gifts enough, etc. The core of it is often “not enough”.
But what about this: What if we are exactly enough in this moment? What if we are the exact size we need to be? What if we are reaching the perfect number of people or expressing our gifts perfectly?
What would happen to ourselves and our lives if we could simply accept where we are in our current evolution? Do we berate seeds for being too small? We know the acorn holds all of the potential for the massive oak tree. We know that if we force things to sprout too quickly without providing for all of the necessities in the environment, that the seedling will be spindly and weak and is not likely to survive, never mind thrive. What if we are the seed simply waiting for the right combination of things to occur before we begin to transform and change shape? Can we not be okay with that? Because it’s not really in our control anyway, right? Because it’s not we who cause the seed to sprout. So maybe that applies to us as well. Maybe we can leave it to the larger forces that be and simply enjoy and appreciate who we are and what we have now?
Phrase Number 2
Which leads me to the next phrase that irks me – “They’re so broken.” I actually have to work hard to calm myself when I hear this phrase because it gets me so worked up. “They’re so broken” is usually used to describe someone who is having an extremely difficult time. I get it. But “broken”? Really? That word is so final, so fatalistic, so end-of-the-road. To my ears it sounds like, “They’ll never get out from under it. tsk tsk” But is it true?
What if the human spirit and the human capacity to heal is so much more powerful than we can imagine? What if it’s one of the most powerful forces in the Universe? Try that one on for size. What if the only time we can’t get out from under it is when we exhale for the last time?
Have faith in people. No matter how battered and bruised they may seem, so long as they’re breathing, there is possibility for change. Some people just take longer than others and may need extra support. I want to say, “Dear God, please stop looking at people as permanent victims. Stop taking the possibility for change away from people. If we take away hope, what is left?”
The Ritual
If I could, I would ban these 2 phrases from ever being used again. I know that I can’t control what others do, but I can keep a lookout for these phrases as they creep up to my lips, because they do. One thing I might do to reinforce ending the use of phrases I find debilitating or hurtful is write them down on paper and ritualistically burn them. Just burn them to cinders and watch them transform into something else altogether.
Words to ashes = space for something new
This is an easy and simple ritual to do for anything we humbly wish to transform and/or release – mindsets, relationship patterns, obstructive emotions, memories, habits, use of language, etc.
How About You?
If you could release anything right now, what would it be? Can you write it down and then burn it, setting it and yourself free? Are you willing to try?
Here’s to healthy clearing and lots of empty space for the new stuff to grow.
Lots of love and best wishes for you and your loved ones in the new year and always.
Tabitha
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